A Modern Christmas Greeting

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer/winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all:

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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2003, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures, and without regard to the
race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of
computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

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(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable
at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform
as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of
one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting,
whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this
wish, or issuance of a new wish, at the sole discretion of the wisher.)